Recently, someone told me that I was a nicer person when I was smoking. The situation in which that occurred was a tense one but I am confident that I did not deserve having horrible remarks thrown at me. I know the statement was meant to hurt (and of course it did) but I don’t think the person who said it totally understood how much it hurt and what an awful thing it was to say. I actually felt as if someone had kicked me in the stomach and I was left totally winded. Basically it’s the same as telling an alcoholic to go get drunk or a heroin addict to go get a fix because the statement belittles the addict and diminishes all the work that he/she put into becoming “cleanâ€. Fortunately I am a good way along in my quit and feeling strong (5 months now) so I didn’t use this as an excuse to go back smoking – another time I would have – and that’s what makes the statement so horrible. I do feel very belittled but as I say I honestly don’t think the person who said it knew how undermining the statement actually was… well at least I hope not.
You know Jackie, that actually happened to me during one of my quits. It is a horrible thing for someone to say. I think what happens though, is when a person successfully quits smoking, they gain such confidence and glow that a new, more assertive, exciting and creative personality comes through; one that has been held back by the misery of addiction. Some folks are intiminated by that new person. They want the ole insecure, doormat back. I’m so glad this meanspirited person didn’t cause you to quit your quit!!!
YEA Jackie!!!
I just started welbutrin.
You will be getting my last cigarettes sometime early in the new year!!
Vicky (Sharpie)
Hi Jackie. I haven’t visited here for a couple of months and am just catching up. I’m so glad you are wise enough to let this person’s thoughtless comment wash through you like water flowing under a bridge. Someone told me today that “nonsmokers are a dull bunch…” I still don’t feel as strong as I want to be, and for a split second, I wanted to agree and go smoke with the old crowd. I didn’t, but the temptation is still there. I’m so glad we’re staying strong. Thanks for continuing to stay ahead, still blazing that trail for those of us coming after you!
Congratulations on your long time~
MaryWit
PS It’s so good to see you’re getting more art supplies! :~)
Jackie,
You are a very strong and vibrant and creative person. I agree totally with what Vicky had to say. That person was just “ignorant”….and ignorance is not bliss when it is hurtful to others. Now that you are stronger, you might let them know how well you are doing, and that the comment did not make you smoke, but gave you even more strength to prove you could do it. In a way, that is what happened….You got the “you can’t break me down” attitude, and it may have saved you.
Congratulations on your quit. I am proud of you
I just stumbled upon this post and was like OMG! I just quit smoking (cold turkey, no assistance!) almost 2 months ago and I was a nicer person before I quit! It’s not that I’m horrible now but every tiny thing irritates the you-know-what out of me now, which makes me feel and act miserable sometimes. It’s starting to get better but there have been days where I didn’t even like me very much! I won’t go back to smoking but there have been moments when I thought that I should just so that my family could live happily with me again