I had yet another new package in the mail on Saturday – this time from Madison. Her quit day was Feb. 24th and she is working hard on keeping that quit. Good for her.
This is her goodbye letter and a picture of the package she sent me.
dear smokes,
i am going to miss the feeling of you between my lips. i am going to miss the ‘relaxation’ feeling you always gave me. i am going to miss having you for my comfort zone. i am going to miss sharing you with friends. i am going to miss the fun times of flicking you out the window trying to hit a mud puddle. i am going to miss your ashes in my ashtrays. i am going to miss throwing your empty pkgs away. i am going to miss your butt for other reasons as well. thats only to name a few. but most of all and most importantly, i have got to leave you behind. i am making new changes and there is no way i can let you come with me. i’m sorry. i have chest pains which i know i never had when i quit. i can have cleaner teeth, fresher breath, shinier hair, more friends, i can have it all, money in my pocket, new clothes in my closet, new CD’s on my dresser, candy on my chair where your ashtray sits, i can get a hair cut, new shoes, i can walk to the library for books to keep you away from me (and i’ll get a lawyer if i have to), my home wont be smoky smelling, i can do a lot of things that i cant do with you as my friend. so i guess what i am saying here, gosh this is hard, is goodbye. i just dont love you anymore. i dont need you anymore. i fell in love with someone else. i love me, madison! i now need to care for me not anyone else. just me.
bye
Madison also had her ‘burial’ service for her last cigarettes and this is her obituary to them:
GENERIC UVALL BRANDS
Generic Uvall Brands, 27, of Florida, formerly of Sandwich and Sheridan, Il passed away on Tuesday, July 29,2008 at home after a long battle with cancer. He was born June 30, 1981 to Misty Light (Long) and Marlboro (‘Red’) Long and was loved very much by his adoptive parents Awl Brands and Menny More.
He will be remembered for his chemical dependancy by his special partners Bic and Cricket Lighters.
He is survived by his non-smoking wife, Madison, his sons Kool and Camel, his daughters Virginia Slim and Misty Menthol.
He is proceeded in death by his cousins Terreyton, and Viceroy, and an Uncle GPC & mother-in law, Doral.
Funeral services will be held on Wednesday July 30, 2008 at the Florida Fake Funeral Home of Oak Tree Ground near Roots at 9:00 a.m. Upon his request, there will be no prior visitation. Memorials may be directed to cigarette companies of your choice. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to FFS at ALA
*All available information is given here, please do not call and ask any questions. He really wont be missed by many.
Thanks Madison!
