August 21st, 2008
I can’t believe it – my thirteen month project has drawn to an end and I am happily smokefree – it is pretty hard to believe. I have to decide now what to do – I feel I should continue with the project because there is so much I want to do with regard to smoking in general. I’m planning on applying for some grants again to see if I can make my project more ambitious and turn it into an installation. Fingers crossed that I succeed.
In the meantime I have been working on Erica’s last cigarette and here is a work-in-progress picture. After nearly pulling my hair out a few times today with it, it is finally done. I’ll post the finished product on Monday when Erica celebrates her 7 week anniversary. Congratulations Erica – you are doing great!
Tags: cigarette, smoking
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July 27th, 2008
I recently took part in Artomatic 2008 in Washington DC. This is a huge, non juried and fun event that takes place every two years in DC. Unfortunately I didn’t get to spend a lot of time there this year as I had arthroscopic surgery in my shoulder a few days after the opening night.
This year I exhibited some of my smoking paintings (picture below) and got listed in the top 10 picks of blogger & photographer Mark Parascandola. Thank you Mark – check out his work here.
The center piece on my wall space is a Japanese folded paper Gohei on which I hand wrote the poems of fellow quitter Miss Puppy Fantastico.
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July 8th, 2008
Erica made my day! Today I received a new cigarette in the mail from a new buddy from The American Lung Association. I had no idea that Erica had sent it and of course I was thrilled. Her package was wonderful and I especially liked the card that she wrote on.
Erica – stay strong and hang in – you WILL do it and thank you so much!
Tags: cigarette, last cigarette, quitting, stop smoking
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July 8th, 2008
At 7.30 pm tonight I will have have quit smoking over 1 year ago. WOW! That’s me I’m talking about – who would have thought that. It is SO good to be free of cigarettes – free of addiction! Although I have to careful as I say that because I will always be addicted – I am free while I never take one puff!
WOW for me and a HUGE thankyou to everyone who helped me on the way, especially those who helped me this this project.
To celebrate I want to post a poem by Brian Schild. Brian has given me wonderful encouragement throughout the year and I am honored to have his permission to reproduce his poem here. Also known as The Cancer Poem, Brian explains “This is a poem about my feelings and images I felt soon after I found out my father would die of cancer back in 1996. The photo represents my mothers death when I was 6, she was 34.”
Two Churches
It is dusk. I step off the bus.
I just have to walk three blocks West.
I can see the dark blue steeple
silhouette of
Saint Mary of Czestochowa across the street from my house. Huge
thunder clouds are rapidly moving in from the North.
The yellowed sliver of a moon-an eye
ready to close forever,
hovers hopefully next to the church-
already practically buried in clouds. I
pick up the pace. I do not mind getting wet but
the lighting frightens me.
Lighting will take away everything.
I make it home before the downfall
of rain. Everthing is locked up,
the shades are pulled down.
I have a photograph from years ago.
A different summer, a different thunder cloud, even a different church steeple, Saint Casimir, located about six
blocks away.
Moving
clouds obscure then illuminate the blinking moon.
1996
Thanks Brian for all your encouragement and support!
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April 22nd, 2008
I haven’t written in over a month and yet I have so much to say. I am now smokefree over 9 months and more importantly have not smoked over 5000 cigarettes. I am still very much an ex-smoker and still am amazed that I think of cigarettes on a frequent basis. The change in weather has brought on some strong cravings and my husband has rightly pointed out that it is simply associations of sitting outside, having a drink and enjoying the sun. Someone told me that you have to experience everything at least once again as a non-smoker before we lose those associations.My quit is strong and while sometimes I imagine a cigarette would be nice I am so glad I am no longer its slave.I am posting a photograph that fellow quitter, mentor, supporter sent to me a while back. I have to check the name of the tree but the image is beautiful. I see Tibetan prayer flags and I would love to create a similar mobile with the words of people who gave up smoking.
Â
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March 19th, 2008
I finally incorporated my last cigarette in a piece of art. Again I followed the temple format denoting simple columns and a frieze. The frieze is decorated with 25 burned matches representing the 25 years or so that I smoked and although I had many “left over” cigarettes I only used one with a nail through it. I also included a photograph taken of me smoking about 15 years ago. I actually like that photograph (I don’t like many photographs of me) – it was taken in a restaurant in Italy and I’m younger and look fresher. I transferred a copy of the photograph to wax paper and a scroll nailed onto the artwork. I wanted it to denote a time gone by, something in the past, the end of something.
I’ve been a non-smoker for eight months now and glad that I have quit. I was at home, in Ireland, for a week recently and I have to say that I didn’t think of a cigarette in all that time. However since I’ve been back I have thought about it more and am now questioning whether working on this project is prolonging withdrawal symptoms.
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March 2nd, 2008
I’ve just finished Linda’s putting together Linda’s artwork for her packet of marlboro cigarettes that she sent me. I will write more about this in a week or two but I decided that I wouldn’t open the pack or pull it apart i.e. (a) I felt it was important to leave the pack intact and unopened and (b) to preserve the purity of the packaging as the cigarette company intended. I simply inserted two pristine nails into the pack to match the “clean design” lines of the pack. I used a design that conjures up images of crypts for me and also old billboard signs that you see in movies – you know the type that had the wanted signs on them. I put a single bell to add the idea of churches and celebrations. Linda was a closet smoker so for the most part she has had to deal with withdrawal on her own without the support of friends – so a single bell to denote her journey is appropriate.
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February 28th, 2008
I’ve just received Melanie’s last cigarette in the mail. She sent me her last cigarette that she smoked and a cigarette withheld for me. Melanie quit on February 14th and has had a slip or two – but she is working really hard at it and that is the key to success. She’s not giving up on quitting and she’ll do great.
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February 28th, 2008
Linda has been quit over 5 weeks now but she had kept a full unopened packet of cigarettes in her home. She felt that by keeping a packet unopened that she was demonstrating control over the nicotine addiction. For me, that is a time bomb waiting to go off. I’ve done that before on previous quits but always caved in at some point. Linda graciously sent me her pack and I am currently working on creating a suitable artwork for them. They are still unopened by the way but it is strange to handle the packet – it has crossed my mind that I could smoke the pack and nobody would be any the wiser!! How crazy is that? On the other hand I stare at the pack and admire how pristine it is and how clean it is – the design sings purity.
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February 12th, 2008
I have completed Vicky’s last cigarettes that she sent me in the mail. I used the three broken cigarettes that were in the pack and stuck them back together again. I designed the artwork around the toril gates found at the entrance to Japanese Shinto shrines because I find their architecture both harmonious and peaceful. The paper scrolls at the top of the shrine are fashioned after the Buddhist prayer wheels and the written text on them simply repeat over and over again “One day at a timeâ€. Once again for consistency I used the gauze as a symbol of healing and, to ensure consistency from one work to another. Unseen, below the gauze is a simple book of Japanese rice paper that repeats the mantra “Success is just not one puffâ€. On top of the gauze is a makeshift cross on which the cigarettes are hung or crucified. (The use of the cross is not intended denigratory to the Christian religion). The color is alizarin orange with Indian yellow lights shining through, symbolizing light and passion and strength.
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